Mad Dogs and Englishmen
by blackangus
Summary: A quick little story set toward the beginning of Peter Gunn and Edie Hart's relationship, either a standalone or part of a continuing set of stories. It's actually the first story using an alphabetical list of prompts and 1,500 words or less. Characters: Peter Gunn, Edie Hart, Mother, Barney, Emmett


**I don't own any of the original series characters in this or any other story. I would love to own Pete if Edie ever gives him up but I won't hold my breath.**

 _Here's just a quick little story set toward the beginning of Pete and Edie's relationship (Season 1). I'm not sure if this will be a standalone or part of a continuing set of stories. It's actually the first story using an alphabetical list of prompts and 1,500 words or less. The first word prompt was "awkward" and is found somewhere in the story._

 **Mad Dogs and Englishmen  
**

Walking into _Mother's_ near closing time, Peter Gunn held the door for a young couple just leaving, then shut it behind himself with a click. Standing tall and straight, his hand still resting on the doorknob, he looked toward the stage area where the combo was playing a light tune. The musicians appeared to still be in high form for their last piece of the night. Releasing the doorknob Pete turned and took the few short steps to the bar, leaning against it and looking over Mother's shoulder as she began to total the evening's receipts. The woman glanced over that shoulder at the feel of his finger at the back of her neck and the smell of his cologne.

"Hello, Pete."

"Mother." He dipped his head in greeting.

The tall lanky woman did a slow double take and turned around, momentarily forgetting about the money and slips of paper lying next to the cash register. Pete straightened as she slowly looked him up and down, her eyebrows going up and her lips pursing into a soundless whistle. The sight of Peter Gunn in a coal black suit, crisp white shirt and deep blue necktie was enough to curl any woman's toes. Mother had discovered long ago that not even she at over sixty years of age was immune to the PI's good looks.

Pete slowly slipped his hands into his pants pockets and took a step back, his blue gaze dropping from Mother's as he glanced down at his suit and shoes, wondering whether he had made a wrong choice somewhere, before raising his eyes once again to hers.

"What?" he finally asked when the woman remained silent. He glanced across the bar at Barney. The bartender was shining a glass, a big grin on his face as he stared at Pete. He nodded his head in admiration of Pete's appearance. Pete's gaze shifted back to Mother.

"Got a hot date?" she finally asked in her scratchy voice, still looking him up and down.

"Something like that," Pete answered.

"Kind of late for that isn't it?" She looked at her watch. It was just a few minutes from the club's weekday closing time of two in the morning.

"I guess that depends," he cryptically replied.

"Who's the lucky girl?"

Mother folded her arms and offered Pete a thin smile that brightened her otherwise grim face. It was about time Peter Gunn found himself a girl who didn't mind the type of job he worked and the hours it entailed. Anyone who'd be willing to meet up with him for a date at this hour was someone after Mother's own heart. She watched as Pete gave Barney another glance and shifted uncomfortably from one foot to another and let his gaze wander unintentionally toward the back of the club. Mother's smile froze in place then slowly faded. With a slow shake of her head she turned back to her receipts.

"I guess it was only a matter of time," she finally said into the sudden silence. The club had emptied and the musicians had closed up shop as the two of them talked.

"Meaning?" Pete prompted. He was a man of few words.

"I saw the way you were looking at her the night she auditioned." Mother turned her head and frowned at him. "You got a glassy look in your eyes and you just sat there and watched her the entire evening even though you pretended not to. And she wasn't much better with that big smile on her face every time she caught you looking at her."

The corners of Pete's mouth tipped up in a bemused smile.

"Really?"

Mother sighed and looked him up and down one more time.

"I assume this is the first time you're taking her out." She was impressed with his looks tonight even though he was always well-dressed and well-groomed. The light antiseptic smell of Vitalis in his dark hair mixed with his cologne to create just the right manly aroma. "Or has something already been going on that I don't know about?"

Pete shrugged.

"I've taken her for pie and coffee a couple times."

"I'll just bet you have," Mother nodded.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Pete's eyes narrowed.

"Don't you dare do anything to scare that girl away after I just hired her."

"What could I do to scare her away?" he asked, feeling somehow insulted.

"I don't know but if there's a way I'm sure you'll find it."

She turned back to her task leaving him with the feeling that he'd been dismissed. Pete looked at Barney who just answered with a shake of his head and a smile, looked toward the door leading to the dressing rooms but saw no sign of Edie yet, looked at Emmett Ward as the piano player practiced a few scales up on the stage. He decided maybe he should say something to Emmett. He slowly walked over, pulling his hands from his pockets and resting his arms on the back of the piano as he watched the fair haired man finish up a quick rendition of _Sorta_ _Blue_.

"Hi, Emmett."

"Pete." Emmett nodded a greeting as he sat back and began to roll up his shirt sleeves, apparently getting ready to spend an hour or so practicing some music. He looked with curiosity at the private investigator who seemed strangely nervous.

"Look, Emmett," Pete began, his fingers fiddling with the edges of a couple songbooks lying atop the piano, "I'm not the kind of man who goes around stealing another man's girl. So if you and Edie," he tipped his head and gave an awkward shrug, "you know, if you're more than just friends or you want to be more than just friends then tell me. There's still time for me to make an excuse not to go out with her," he concluded. He didn't sound like he wanted to have to make such an excuse and the muscle in his jaw tightened as he looked at the other man.

Emmett smiled faintly and rested his fingers on the piano keys.

"There's never been anything between Edie and me," he quietly assured Pete. "We've always been friends. Nothing more."

"What if she wanted more?"

Emmett shrugged good-naturedly and tickled the ivories briefly.

"If I thought there was any chance of that I sure wouldn't have introduced her to _you_."

"About that," Pete looked him square in the eye. "Thank you. I really appreciate you doing that. I owe you one."

"If I hadn't somebody else would have. She asked Barney and all the guys about you. She even asked Mother." He chuckled and his smile grew as he stared at Pete. "I won't repeat what Mother told her. Your ears would start burning." His gaze shifted to look beyond the other man's shoulder as Edie came through the back door and headed in their direction when she spotted the detective. "And don't worry about me, I do all right with the ladies. You just make sure you treat her right. Otherwise you'll have me and the rest of the guys to answer to." Emmett's smile became an all-out grin. It wasn't every day you could threaten Peter Gunn and get away with it.

Pete straightened and turned as Edie Hart came to stand next to him. She had on a silky black dress with a lacy bodice that he'd seen her wear once while performing. Her soft blonde hair fell in a wave to her shoulders and her blue eyes glimmered in the smoke-filled lighting of the jazz club. She smiled as he took possession of her wrap and her purse and captured her elbow with his hand. He decided on the spot that she was the prettiest thing he had ever laid eyes on.

"Are you ready?"

Her eyes smiled into his as he uttered what had to be the most loaded question she had ever heard. He gave Emmett a respectful nod then led his date past Barney and Mother, the one affording them another wide grin and the other just shaking her head as she sat with her back to them and continued to count her receipts. As the door clicked shut the old woman raised her head and rolled her eyes.

"Mad dogs and Englishmen," she muttered to no one in particular. "Only mad dogs and Englishmen..."

~ The End ~


End file.
